The best things in life are worth waiting for...right? Things are crappy this week. I should be up to my head with excitement, but honestly I think the slightest thing could throw me into a crying hysteria.
Guess what, I graduate tonight. I remember the week I graduated from my undergrad program, I had my hair done, my entire family came home, we had a huge celebration. Today, I have never felt so alone. My sister is too busy with Rosie, my Dad is away on a business trip, my grandma had surgery last week so grandpa is with her, my other grandma is in France visiting family, and oh shit, I'm crying. I can't do this.
The fact that no one is around isn't what hurts the most though. It's work, its being told to be patient, it's knowing that the fact that I am a female is holding me back. Maybe I should be patient, maybe it's okay that a man with less experience, less education, and less knowledge is offered the position. Maybe I am selfish for wanting this when my life is pretty good, but then again why did I work so hard for it, that's not selfishness, that's determination.
The weight front is looking bad. I am running a lot, but I am also eating a lot and not tracking. I am up almost 4 lbs. I am sure some of that is stress, bloating and fatigue. I will get things sorted out, right now it's figuring out my emotions.
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4 comments:
What can you do to intervene now before things spiral out of control? I know it sounds cheesy but one of my things is to go back and read old journal entries from when I was even miserable. Reminds me that I am in better control of my life now. I think the stress is making you more emotional too. I'm sorry people aren't around to go to your graduation. Barely anyone came to my grad school graduation either. Take care of yourself! Take a bubble-bath or get a pedicure.
Congratulations on the graduation! That is great!!! :) Try to stay strong and remember that when the time is right a wonderful opportunity will fall in your lap and it will be so much better than the one that the lesser man got. Remember to breathe and yes be patient. And believe me, I hate hearing that too and it is something that I am struggling to learn but it's true, we must be patient. And POSITIVE! You are a great person and deserve great things, your turn will come, I know it will! :) ((((HUGS))))
On a totally unrelated note, you voted in the Exercise Challenge so I'm assuming that you want in right? If so then today is May 1st, and our challenge begins TODAY. Check out the latest post in the Challenge Blog (http://jigglelessexercisechallenge.blogspot.com/2008/05/challenge-for-may-abs-wins.html - add the blog to your reader if you use one). Come on, let's do this! No giving up! :)
Sorry I am a little late....but...
CONGRATULATIONS on the graduation!!!! That is so incredibly awesome!!! I'm so happy for you...and proud. You are awesome!
I'm sorry no one was there to celebrate with you :(
Remember this....EVERYTHING happens for a reason. EVERYTHING! A few years ago I interviewed for a job at my work and I didn't get it even though I was the best candidate for the job. I was so mad I didn't get it...then I started working from home less than a year later (at the time, we were thinking working from home was a few years away) and I have NEVER been happier at my work. I didn't need/want the stress associated with that job and now I have 2 precious boys that I get to be home for. I was mad I didn't get the job, but I know now that there was a higher power working and a reason for me to NOT have that job. Keep your head up....your time will come. We're always here for you if you need anything! ;)
Congratulations on your graduation. You have accomplished sooooo much this year and it is only the beginning of amazing things that are going to be starting up in your life! I am so proud of and for you......what a wonderful example of tenacity you are! You never give up even when it's tough - man I totally HEART you!!!
(((HUGS)))
P.S. If I could be there I would be in the stands screaming like a maniac when they called your name!
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